The 911 Call That Changed My Life

The Call [WARNING: Read first paragraph before clicking!]

I don’t want people to have to listen to this to know what I’m talking about, as it could be very disturbing to some, so first I’ll explain what’s going on in the call: A little girl, couldn’t have been older than 10, has just discovered that her big brother shot himself. She was the first one in the house, along with her sister. (whose age is not stated in the call) We don’t hear anything from the sister, just the little girl and, later on, the father. The hysteria, terror, and confusion in this girl’s voice is just..mind-boggling, and, to me and probably a lot of people, extremely disturbing. On the link to it I found, I saw a comment from a 911 operator, who said that this call is used in training 911 operators to show them the kind of thing they’ll be exposed to, and help them detach themselves emotionally from the calls. If you think you’re up to watching it, please do, its life-changing, especially if you have suffered from suicidal thoughts and actions. But, please, really think about if you think you can handle it, it is extremely disturbing.

Now, why this video touched me so: For the last few years, I’ve suffered from what was recently diagnosed as “mild clinical depression” (My heart goes out to those with severe depression– if this hell is mild, I can’t begin to imagine how bad severe depression must be. Good luck to all of you in getting through it) With my depression, both before and after treatment started, also came suicidal thoughts. And an action or two. I often think that nobody would care if I died, so I may as well just get it over with. This video, combined with some other things I’ll discuss later, possibly in a later post, made me think of all of the family and friends I have that would care. I, like pretty much everyone else, have a lot (well, maybe not a lot–but quite a few) of people who care about me, probably more than I would think of if asked. This video made me think of those people, and what it would do to them if I killed myself. Especially my little sister, and my parents. Much as it may not feel like it sometimes, they, and others, would be deeply hurt, if not devastated, if I died, especially by that method.

So I guess that’s the point of this post: Remember that there is always someone who cares. Expect a part two to this–containing my experiences in more detail, and with a new point/moral– by next week, probably tomorrow or the next day.

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