First off, I’d like to apologize for the absence of a post yesterday, December 31st, and the extreme tardiness of a post for today, January 1st. (I guess it’s the 2nd now, haha) Next, I’d like to talk about the comic I’ve posted here.
This is a comic about self-pity, hence the title of my post, haha. Though, it didn’t start as a comic, if I’m not mistaken– its a quote, by British actor Stephen Fry. In this quote, (that doesn’t sound like the best way I could have put that… Oh well) Fry says that a person’s most destructive vice is not pride, the number one cardinal sin, but self-pity. He says that it destroys anything good in life, fulfills all of its prophecies and leaves only itself. He says that it’s easy to view yourself as the victim: That you’ve had a bad life, by no fault of your own. He says that he once wanted to publish a self-help book, simply stating “Stop feeling sorry for yourself and you will be happy.” He also admits that while it seems so simple to stop feeling sorry for yourself, it is, indeed, a “bloody hard” thing to do.
This quote really speaks to me. Probably more than any other quote I’ve ever heard, in fact. I have struggled with self-pity for years. (I’m getting there, this blog was actually my first step in actually doing something worthwhile!) I’m not going to assume anyone’s age that is reading this, but if any of you, guy or girl, are after high school age, I’m sure a lot of you can remember a similar experience. (Or maybe I just tell myself that to feel less abnormal 😛 ) There was probably a specific aspect of your life that your self-pity was focused on– maybe your athletic ability, your weight, or the amount of money in your parents’ bank accounts– for me, its girls. Social life in general, really, but mostly girls. Which I can’t imagine is a very rare scapegoat to pin one’s self pity on, haha.
I know I shouldn’t feel sorry for myself. I know there’s probably a lot that I could do to help my situation. I know I’m a great guy, and that at some point, I’ll find myself a nice girl. (The feeling of abnormality because of my inexperience is a big part of it too, but that could be a whole post of its own) I know that I’m not the only guy in the world that can’t seem to find a girl. But that’s the tricky thing about the human mind…
You can logically know the hell out of something, while feeling something completely different. Logically, I know I deserve a great girl, and that I’m not the only one who can’t seem to find one. But emotionally, it truly feels like I must not deserve one, and it truly feels like I’m the only guy on the planet that can’t find one. Another, smaller, example: I almost quit at McDonald’s, because I’ve been asking them to train me on front counter since at least late September, and they had not yet done so. (this being about a week and a half ago–They started training me on it yesterday, and I loved it so much I almost can’t accept their money now!) Logically, I knew there was almost certainly a good reason they had not yet trained me on it, but it felt like I was just being ignored.
I feel that this is what Stephen Fry meant when he said that it’s “bloody hard” to stop feeling sorry for yourself: No matter how well you know something, its damned difficult to transfer that knowledge into feeling differently about it, sometimes.
Do you have a story about self-pity, or similar life trials? Feel free to share in the comments, if its something you’re willing to share!
[credit for finding the comic (not sure who made it, don’t believe it was him) goes to user kyles0623 on Reddit.com, posted to http://www.reddit.com/r/GetMotivated 4 days ago]